| Is it ethical for a gynecological nurse to pressure a couple into having children based upon her own beliefs?

Is it ethical for a gynecological nurse to pressure a couple into having children based upon her own beliefs?

mrs_squier81906 asked:


I went to a new gynecologist and when I told the nurse-midwife who was examining me that my husband and I did not want to have children, she immediately started telling me that not wanting children was “unnatural” and that I WOULD change my mind before I turned 30. I said that my husband and I have genetic conditions that we would prefer NOT to pass on and quite frankly have NEVER liked children under the age of 3 or 4. I’m also planning on going to school for automotive service management once my husband finishes his bachelor’s degree. Its pretty hard to look under the hood of a car with pregnant belly! This nurse (who was Catholic) also had the audacity to tell me that I didn’t belong in “the boys club” and should stay home and do my “duty”.
My husband and I are conservative Southern Baptists and we found this VERY inappropriate. A doctor in the practice apologized for this but we feel that their should be some type of ethical rules against this. This is a VERY personal decision!
This nurse also gave me incorrect information on the few birth control options available to me. I’m taking a medication that reduces the effect of hormonal birth control; have had problems with severe bleeding from implants and get a mild skin reaction to latex condoms.

The doctor who apologized to me finally recommended my husband having a vasectomy to save me from going through surgery.

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Comments

7 Responses to “Is it ethical for a gynecological nurse to pressure a couple into having children based upon her own beliefs?”

  1. JayK on March 22nd, 2009 9:59 am

    Did you smack her out?

  2. cassandra on March 24th, 2009 2:26 pm

    Yes, I would report her to medical ethicists in your state. You were in a very vulnerable position (gyn appt.) and she started telling you not what she would do but what you should do. It’s as outrageous as you feel it is. She should not be working in her field, period.

    BTW, I think that not one single person who doesn’t want kids should have them. We really don’t need any more unwanted kids and there are lots of ways to find fulfillment besides reproducing. And I think becoming a mother was the absolute best, most amazing thing in the world. For me. (And my kids, they tell me…)

  3. Qwyrx on March 24th, 2009 9:04 pm

    Depending on state laws and state licensing rules, that may actually be a violation of her nursing license. It’s up to you if you want to go to the effort to hurt her…on the one hand, forgive everyone, the Bible tells us, and you should just make sure you are never seen by her again. On the other hand, I hate to think of her giving that kind of advice to someone who isn’t as strong as you are (say, someone much younger or easily influenced) who might be pushed into something that is inappropriate given their own circumstances.

    It’s a tough decision (to consider further action). There’s no doubt (in my mind) that what she did is ethically unacceptable. But, since you believe, ask the Lord what you should do beyond that.

  4. angelina_mcardle on March 30th, 2009 6:42 am

    unethical yes
    rude definitely
    but she is entitled to her opinion i don’t think nurses have to take the Hippocratic oath to be nurses so i don’t know that she will be penalized for this,and i think you’re decision to not have children for genetic reasons is a good one and knowing yourself well enough to be able to admit you have no desire to be a parent is very courageous and intelligent and i for one applaud that decision people always expect women to want kids and i know many people who don’t..i also know of many who have kids and shouldn’t so kudos for you and your husband..what do you care what that looser thinks anyway unless you feel guilty about not wanting kids..don’t. all Oprah got is dogs and she laughs all the way to the bank you stay true to you

  5. kmennie on April 1st, 2009 2:56 pm

    “My husband and I are conservative Southern Baptists and we found this VERY inappropriate.”

    I’m a left-leaning agnostic Canadian, and I find it thoroughly inappropriate, too.

    “(who was Catholic)”

    That, sad to say, might be the problem.

    (Not that that should _normally_ be a problem; it’s just one I’ve run into myself. Catholic nurses can be #$*@s.)

    I’m with the other posters saying you might want to consider reporting her to the usual authorities. ‘Stay home and do your “duty”‘ — !! I take it this wasn’t in her home, with the kids in the next room? No? The first answerer has a point…

  6. i_do_not_like_stupidity on April 3rd, 2009 10:38 am

    I would sue her until she has her license revoked. Not only it’s inappropriate and unethical, it’s also very unprofessional- she didn’t do her job right.
    If she has to many objections to doing the job that she is paid for, she should get another one.

  7. Raina on April 4th, 2009 6:27 am

    Go to a different doctor. Even if the doc apologized, do you want to stay with a practice that employs someone like that?